Category: Live

  • Unhip

    In a near-empty shop, at a counter at which the barrista and her pal are chatting it up over the counter…

    “Can I help you?”

    “Which one is the coffee like a milkshake?”

    “The frappuchino! What flavor would you like?”

    “Coffee.”

    “And what size?”

    “Large.”

  • Why, God, Why?

    Why is it that the last two library books are never where they are supposed to be?

  • Squeaky

    I have cleaned far, far too much in the past two weeks, and I’m just getting started.

    Depression sucks. Cleaning helps.

    I now have a desk of my very own, with drawers of my very own, at which I can sit and do my very own work. Not that I’ve gotten to use it much, as I’m still cleaning everything else.

    But at least I no longer have a system of piles for storage in my bedroom.

    My sphere of cleanliness increases daily!

  • Spam®

    Marcus, regarding his fried SPAM(r) sandwich: “Mom, this is delicious! It’s like it was in a marinade!”
    Me: “Oh, God.”

    Marcus, while reading off movie titles while we were all in the throes of the flu: “The Fear of All Sums.”
    Matthew: “Noooo, not 2+2!”

  • Clairvoyant HGTV Snarking

    Me, being sarcastic: “Mmm, exposed ductwork.”
    Matthew, being sarcastic: “It’s _industrial_.”
    HGTV victim/collaborator: “We’ve been having this, y’know, industrial look to the loft…”

  • A Few Rules Of Safe Baby Handling

    Always keep the baby pointed in a safe direction. Never point a baby at something you do not intend to destroy.

    Know how to play with the baby safely. Remember, most accidents happen when a baby is being handled incorrectly.

    Wear eye and ear protection as appropriate.

    Never use alcohol or over-the-counter, prescription, or other drugs before or while handling a baby.

    Store babies so they are not accessible to unauthorized persons.

  • The End Of The World

    I am doomed. Marcus is reading _Ender’s Game_.